FEAR!!!

We, humans, are extremely fearful people. We fear something in this universe or atleast some aspect about existence and suck about it. That’s the truth! So much that every psychologist has been bragging about it and the number of people and the number of phobias registered have been increasing rapidly.

So we have Acrophobia (fear of heights), Claustrophobia (fear of closed places), Aviophobia (fear of flying), Atychiphobia (fear of failure), Necrophobia (fear of death or the dead) and many more!

Now some which I found as surprises are Tetraphobia (fear of number 4), Terdekaphobia (fear of number 13), Nomophobia (fear of being out of mobile phone contact), Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia (can anyone pronounce this?) (fear of the number 666) and many more!

You know anything and the fear of that exists in this universe! So much that there also exists Phobophobia (fear of fears)! 

The point is, Every individual fears something! The others find it logical or ridicule about it. But still, everyone does fear!

I am no exception to this too. I do fear a lot of things. This is why I want to share one thing through this blog.

Firstly, it is normal! Because every fear arises out of a reason! No matter how many people ridicule about it and see this as a ‘weakness’, it is perfectly normal!

But, just because it is normal, you should continue living in that fear? No.

Because the more you fear, the more you end up with it and spoiling everything! For example, the more you fear disappointing people, you will disappoint them more. The more you fear losing things, you will lose everything! The more you fear failure, you will fail more! Not because situations ended up there, but because you ended up seeing only that! And even if nothing of that occurred, but you will end up noticing only that.

Ultimately, you end up being controlled by your fear! So, even when you aren’t alone, you will feel lonely. Even when you didn’t fail, you will term it as a ‘failure’. Even when you didn’t get pain, you will feel pain!

And this isn’t limited to fear of certain aspects! It also applies to fear of something! If you fear spiders, anything that creeps beside you will be a spider to you, even if it wasn’t! If you fear blood, every red liquid will be perceived as blood, when it can be tomato ketchup!

This is a fact! You will face your fear every day, not because it came to you, but because you went to it! And this doesn’t restrict here. Fears can get worse… for you and the people around you!  

So, to end this feeling, is to get over it! Start by analyzing the thing you fear…. Is it that bad? How did you get it? And make a conscious effort, to conquer it! Keep your mind restricted to the positives and keep mumbling it when you feel fear! Try to keep yourself focused there. It helps in a significant way! Because, there is MUCH MUCH more to life, than being restricted to a fear!

An example of that would be Robert Langdon. If you have read or seen The Da Vinci Code or Angles and Demons, you would know him! He is scripted as a claustrophobic. So whenever he enters a closed room or an elevator, he shuts his eyes and thinks positives to himself!

Concluding I would like to say, it isn’t easy. Because you have spent a certain amount of years in that fear! So, even when you think it has gone it can come crawling back to you. But, try being focused!

(P.S.  If you are one of those, who read the above post and wondered how fears can be so serious, trust me, you haven’t seen life! That’s good and bad, both! And if you have even noticed a fragment or element of what I have mentioned, I hope, this turns out to help you and the people around you! )

Happy Diwali

Oh yes, I am very much alive and so is my blog….

Firstly, I would like to thank all the people who kept on asking about my blog even when I offered no new posts…. Your views and suggestions always motivate me to write more….

Now, since Diwali is round the corner… I would take this opportunity to wish each and every one, a very happy, safe and prosperous Diwali (so please excuse the absence of my messages. I did wish here) …. May you have a great one…

Diwali is the festival of lights! Well, this used to be the standard first line in my every “My favorite festival” essay. I am sure every house must have scrapped through its cleaning, lighting, sweets preparations, shopping and the other never ending chores for Diwali.

A few days back, I and my bunch of friends were discussing about this festival- Diwali-then, Diwali-now and how the whole feel of the festival has changed over the years for us.

As a child, my first day of Diwali (i.e. Dhanteras) used to be celebrated at my Nana-Nani’s place. I used to meet my cousins over lunch and then accompany my mother in buying some gold as a part of the tradition.

The second day (i.e. Narakchaturdashi) used to start with my mother waking me and my brother at 5 am, massaging our body with hot oil and Uttana, and bathing us. Then all of us would relish all the sweets prepared. I and all my friends would burst crackers in the society, decorate the entrances with colourful rangolis and diyas and play games the whole day.

The third day would pass by meeting a lot of relatives and exchanging sweet boxes with them. The evening would be Lakshmi-poojan which would go with a simple pooja at home.

The fourth day (i.e. Balipradipada) coincides with the new year of gujaratis. Having lived in a society full of gujaratis, it was a ritual for the young to get up early and visit every house in the building and wish everyone ‘Saal Mubarak’. Every house had a delicacy specially prepared for us. I used to happily oblige with it. The later half of the day used to fly away playing with my friends in the building.

The last day (i.e. Bhaubheez) used to be the best! Lunch used to be at my father’s side family. Every uncle and every aunty would turn up and have a gala-time laughing and teasing each other. My grandmother’s generation would revive their memories and become young with the young. Dinner used to be at my maternal uncle’s place where all my cousins would meet and burst crackers and fire rockets the whole night. I would literally cry every year while departing.

Somehow, a lot of this has changed over the years. I, no longer, burst crackers. I grew out of it very early due to all the air, noise and land pollution it leaves behind (P.S. Not everyone practices this. Noisy crackers have always found their customers.). The ritual of ‘Saal Mubarak’ died down over the years. Visit to relatives and visits from relatives became fewer. Most of my elder cousins left for careers in USA, thus, affecting the gala-time we used to share. The games and all have disappeared and I end up in front of my television for most parts of the day. The 5 am bath has been procrastinated to an 8 am bath. The practice of buying and wearing new clothes has been compromised. The gifts have reduced. The amount of sweets that used to be made has decreased. The rangolis in every entrance has lost its colour. Diwali seems to have lost its spark.

I don’t know if you share the same observation as mine but, for me, the festival of lights has become glum over the years. The tag of ‘festival’ stays but the grandeur seems lost.

Is it all because we have grown up? Our families have increasingly become nuclear? Our social circles have reduced? Longings have deteriorated?

No, I don’t know the answers. And moreover, everyone’s reasons would defer. Some people’s Diwali must have never changed.

Nevertheless, to end this post on a happy note… I would urge everyone to stay happy this Diwali. If you are going through the same, make an honest effort to bring back at the least something about Diwali that you truly miss. And don’t forget to make the people around you happy, because that’s the true essence of a festival!

Happy and Shubh Deepavali…. Have a safe one…. And a wonderful and prosperous year ahead!

Carrots, Eggs or Coffee!

It’s been more than a month since my last post…. And I feel so deficient without it… Placements took up every amount of time and energy I had… and will continue to do so till I end up with a job!

Firstly, heartiest congratulations to everyone who got a job… and for those who didn't,  don’t worry, I am also in your company (pun unintended) …. We will get soon!

Yes, I didn't get a job in Accenture and Infosys. Perhaps, accepting this as a fact makes it cause a little less pain! Especially after Accenture which had been my lone dream job (Not anymore!). I had been hoping to be a part of it since years in engineering. So not landing in that company, which I was pretty confident about, taking into account my great interview, obviously was a letdown. I am sure all the people who were surprisingly not-in-the-list would agree to my last sentence.

Frankly, I hadn’t made any other plans except Accenture! No other companies as such, no GRE, no MBA, nothing! So perhaps it took me a little more time to accept it. Accept my sort-of failure!

So here I present one story that I went through today… and I hope that it makes you feel nice…

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things are hard for her. She didn’t know how she was going to make it and how she wanted to give up. She was tired of not getting what she desired and struggling through everything.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She took three identical pots, filled them with equal amounts of water and placed each on high fire. Soon the water came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans.

She let each of them boil. After twenty minutes, she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled out the eggs and placed them in another bowl. She poured the coffee in another bowl. Turning to her daughter, she said, “What do you see?”

“Carrots, eggs and coffee,” replied the daughter.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to touch them. She did and noticed that the carrots had become soft and supple. She took the egg, pulled off the shell, and observed that it had become hard and boiled. She caught the bowl of coffee, viewed its texture, smelled its aroma, and took a sip.

“What does this mean, mother?”

Her mother explained that all the three objects had faced the same adversity; boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to boiling water, it withered and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin exterior shell protected its liquid interior. After taking boiled water, its interior hardened.

However, the coffee beans, totally solid, showed uniqueness. In boiling water, it totally adapted itself and turned liquid.

“What are you, young lady?”

When adversity knocks on the door, when all plans fail, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?

Think of this: What am I?

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and failure, I wilt and become weak and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that started with a malleable heart and changed with the heat? Did I possess a fluid spirit, but after a failure, death, breakup, hardship or a trial, have I hardened and become stiff? Does my shell look the same, but within, am I bitter and indurate?

Or am I the coffee bean which actually changed the hot water, the very circumstance that caused pain? When boiling, do I get better by releasing fragrance and flavor?

If you are a coffee bean, things can get worse, hours can turn dark, situations can get ugly, but you will only elevate yourself higher!

So, are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?

Yes, I didn’t get the job (till now)! Yes, my plan didn’t work out! Yes, I couldn’t crack it when I had it damn easy!

But I am going to find my way…. Become much much more than what this failure brought me to…. Because since school I always learnt, “I can…. I will…. I must!”

(P.S. this blog was not intended to exhibit what people perceive as my ego, but to make me realize and remember this lesson forever! Also, it is for every individual going through the same or worse! So, comments welcome…. Sympathies cut it out….)  

Realizations....

It’s been a lot of time since my last post! College made my days a lot busier! (Pun intended.)

For the past few days, I have had a lot of self realizations and also many other realizations! (*tongue sticking out*. Yeah, I think a lot!)

I want to share certain of these experiences... They are in no certain order. Just the way they are crossing my mind. I ain’t a good presenter of these things, but I hope it does help you!

1)      Never get demoralized by anything. Never think about the number of people you are competing with! Your true competition and comparison is yourself! Your path is yours! You need to get yourself better at whatever you want to. To give an illustration… What makes Usain Bolt the fastest man on earth? There are billions in this world who can sprint for 100m! Nothing special in sprinting! But if you cut down, how many can achieve this in 15 seconds? Perhaps 100! In 10 seconds? 10! In 9.8 seconds? 5! In 9.6 seconds? 3! In 9.48 seconds? 1! Usain Bolt! The point here is you have to get better… From 15 to 10 to 9.8 to 9.6 to 9.48! Ultimately, you end up victorious!

2)      Sometimes you need to stand up for yourself! There are always some people who speak a lot and never listen! When you haven’t erred, you should trust it and speak up in a smart way. To give an example… Mr. A blasted and let out his frustrations over Mr. B for something B had not committed. After sometime and lot of courage, B spoke up with optimum power and optimum humility. Ultimately, B got something he didn’t anticipate. An apology! Sometimes standing up for yourself fills you up with much required sense of self-confidence. So speak up smartly!

3)      It is impossible to make everyone happy, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake. Even after trying your best, amassing guilt and rendering apologies, there will still be people who dislike you! Do everything to satisfy them and you end up knowing what they actually talk about you behind your back! You can’t be in the good books of everyone! In another light, pissing people off is damn easy. There will always be people who will get irritated by your actions, words or probably by the way you are! That too very easily, without effort or thought! There are very few people who will accept all your stupid mannerisms and antics and take you for what you truly are.

4)      Never do those things to others that you are not capable of tolerating. Simple rule. If you can’t take it, don’t do it! Never make a mockery of someone, if you can’t bear the sight of people mocking you! Never have prejudices or pass judgements about anyone, if you dislike people doing the same to you! Never talk behind someone’s back, if it hurts when you come to know someone did the same to you! Likewise treat others the way you expect to be treated. If you want people to forgive you for your mistakes, carve a big heart and forgive those who have wronged you. Never ignore anyone’s presence, if you want your presence to be counted. And the most important; Never hurt anyone, if you don’t like getting hurt!

5)      Last and perhaps the most important. Yesterday one of my friends told me to concentrate more on me, my life and my happiness. It was a simple statement, yet it made my day. Sometimes all of us get sad, anxious and worried about unnecessary things. All of us spoil many moods thinking about people who don’t even matter! We stress so much on being right, abiding by rules that sometimes it drains our mind. In this process, we end up losing ourselves and our moments of happiness! We end up doing what we don’t want to and regret it later! Amidst this, try to be happy and do what you are supposed to do! Leave the rest to your destiny. Care for the people who stand by you and those you need always. Trust yourself and everything will go right! 

Batman-begins, knights and rises!

“It’s not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me!”

The Christopher Nolan created Batman trilogy concluded leaving behind a miracle, a mark for its billion fans and a benchmark for all superhero flicks coming in future!

The magic started with Batman Begins!

This movie shows how Bruce Wayne became Batman! The movie takes you through Bruce Wayne’s initial fear of bats, the death of his parents, his struggle to conquer his fear and overcome his guilt, his efforts to save his city and lastly, his fight with Ra’s al Ghul, the very individual who taught him in his struggle. The movie beautifully portrays Bruce’s realization of the difference between Revenge and Justice and how he chooses Compassion over Punishment. The movie also highlights the unique relationship between Bruce and his family butler Alfred.

A wounded Bruce looks up to Alfred.

Alfred: Why do we fall, sir? So that we can learn, to pick ourselves up.

 Bruce: You still haven’t given up on me…

Alfred: (without a blink) Never!

Next came The Dark Knight!

  

This movie depicts the most important combat of Batman! The name is Joker. “Why so Serious, son?”  In no other movie have I felt the villain to be more convincing and more mesmerizing than the hero, but this movie did it! His every antic is brain-pounding! The scenes between Joker and Batman are winners! Another vital character in the movie is Harvey Dent, the confidante of Bruce’s love Rachel and the white knight of the city. The scene wherein Batman kills Harvey, who, on Joker’s direction, was wrongly avenging Rachel’s death, and still lets the city perceive Harvey as the hero and claims full responsibility of Harvey’s death causes pain!

Gordon Jr.: Why is he running dad?

Gordon: Because we have to chase him.

Gordon Jr.: He didn’t do anything wrong.

Gordon: Because he’s the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs now. So, we’ll hunt him. Because he’s not our hero. He’s a silent guardian, a watchful protector….. A dark knight!

It concluded with The Dark Knight Rises!

This movie focused on one simple ideology-Everyone can become Batman! So this movie had a Catwoman, a Robin, Commissioner Gordon, Lucius Fox, everyone fight till the end. The highlight of the movie is when Bruce is held in prison and the only way out is to rise with your sheer will and Bruce attains it! Bane looks and sounds hideous. The scene that causes an ache is when Miranda Tate betrays Bruce and when Batman is thought to be dead and Alfred sobs over his grave. However it brings delight to witness Bruce alive with Selina, as Alfred had wanted it! This movie totally and effectively puts the drapes shut of this magnificent trilogy!

“You see only one end to your journey. Sometimes a man rises from the Darkness!”

The things that make this trilogy special are

1)  Christopher Nolan. His writing, his story, his direction… Flawless! His extra-ordinary work speaks for itself. How he conceived the story, molded it in screenplay and delivered it in every scene is worth a Hats’ off! There are many other names contributing in this too like his brother Jonathan Nolan.

2)  Cast. Right from the enigmatic Christian Bale to lead the series to Michael Caine playing Alfred to Gary Oldman playing Gordon to Morgan Freeman as Fox, and to every little role, every individual portrays the character convincingly, to the “T”.

3)   Heath Ledger. Oh yeah, he was a part of only one movie, but his enactment of Joker made Dark Knight, the movie of the century! The way he talked, walked, behaved and played Joker, made this series reach the very epitome of ratings. His portrayal was magic! However, Joker took toll on Heath and he was found dead in an unprecedented circumstance. But Heath, you did put a smile in everyone's face!

4)  Cinematography. If you have seen the final one, the opening sequence involving helicopters, you know exactly what I am saying! Wally Pfister, Good Job!

5)  Background Score. The one thing that stayed with me even after I left the theatre was the sound-track! Hans Zimmer deserves all the accolades for it!

6) Dialogues. Flawless and awesome. There are so many neatly written ones that it would eat up my entire blog space!

As the trilogy ends all I can say is

“If you make yourself more than just a man, if you devote yourself to an ideal, and if they can’t stop you, you become something else entirely. A legend, Mr. Wayne, a Legend!”

This trilogy turned out to be the same!

Don't know me!!

Yes, you notice, you do see,

my little tears, my joyous glee,

the things that can break me free,

Yet, I know, you don't know me!

Yes, you notice, you do see,

the times when we're We,

the thoughts in the plethora of my seas,

Yet, I know, you don't know me!

Yes, you notice, you do see,

my sore arms, my bruised knee,

the address of my places of lees,

Yet, I know, you don't know me!

Yes, you notice, you do see,

where I barge in, where I flee,

the things suppressed within lock, no key,

Yet, I know, you don't know me!

That's because, you notice and see,

what I have chosen to show, to be,

even if I blab in times of spree,

You don't know anything......

Because I don't know me!

That's because, you notice and see,

what I forward, what I plea,

even in my days, post and pre,

You don't know anything......

Because I don't know me!

I am fine.....

Morning, I had nothing to write,

nothing to pen, nothing to shed light!

In hours, I reached a place somewhere,

I look around, blankly, I stare!

What caused this, in a matter of time,

that words of any fail to chime?

What changed in the duration, last,

that nothing is sinking, nothing has cast?

My thoughts sway, circulating my mind,

Lost in all these, myself, I sweat to find!

Life seems stuck, unmoving and cold,

like it is waiting for something to be told!

Life feels dull, insipid and bland,

like it is hoping for something to stand!

Amidst this, I stare at reflection, mine,

In all the darkness, I just mouth,"I am fine!"